The best thing you have seen on the internet today?
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, ‘Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.’
Little RALPHY replied, ‘My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.’
The man asked, ‘Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?’
Little RALPHY answered, ‘No, he minded his own fucking business.
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?’
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’
‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’
Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.’
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?’
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’
To which Little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.’
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I rate that one
Haha, remindes me of Little Johny jokes. and that reminds me of this:
Hahahahahhaaa!!!!!
Scottish couple decided to go toSpain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool , a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2008
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. F***ing hot down here!
hahaha, thats great
Thats the new version hay Mizu? Still funny 
Saw this story on news.com.au but the forum rejects it cause of one word!!
School’s giant cok-up for world to see
Six giant penises in schoolyard
Drawn with weedkiller
Not funny. Not funny at all
CROP circles might be known for their beauty and paranormal allure, but the giant phalluses etched into the field of a New Zealand high school hold no such mystique.
Fairfield College, in the North Island town of Hamilton, has been snapped by satellite cameras with six huge penises burnt into the grass.
The x-rated images, immortalised on the website Google Earth, were spotted by Kiwi David McQuoid while scanning the neighbourhood online looking for a property.
“At first I thought it was a large piece of artwork,” he said of the shot, which shows cartoon-like phalluses of various sizes, some several metres across.
Publicity around the so-called Fairfield Phalluses has embarrassed the school’s acting principal Gerhard van Dyk, who told the Waikato Times it was hard enough to deal with when the prank was pulled back in 2009.
It happened over a weekend but it wasn’t until the grass died off bit by bit that phallic symbols started to pop up around the school grounds.
Every week another crude image revealed itself, much to the dismay of staff.
“There’s not really much we could do about it,” he told the newspaper.
“The caretaker took some more weedkiller and tried to camouflage it a bit.”
Mr van Dyk never caught the culprits and the prank would no doubt have passed into schoolboy folklore had it not been captured by Google Maps.
The red-faced principal said he would be contacting Google to plead for the image’s removal but an internet privacy specialist said it was difficult to get such satellite photographs changed or blurred.
Kiwis however, thought the prank was hilarious, with 70 adding mostly encouraging comments to the online story, like “Freakin brilliant!!! Love it!!! Classic piece of adolescent artwork.”
One gave the artists an A+, top marks for cunning, planning, chemistry and geometry, while another said their anatomy detailing left a lot to be desired.
“I totally reckon it was actually girls,” they wrote.
Then came a confession: “HAHAHA!!! we did this as our 7th form prank, now it lives on! how awesome!”
Hahahhahahaahha!!!!
Love the Principle’s surname too!!!!!
Scottish couple decided to go toSpain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool , a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2008I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. F***ing hot down here!
hahahahaha
Our Kiwi mates pulling an awesome prank that just got soooo much better….....
You can find the story on news.com.au, our filter won’t let me link it.
School in New Zealand, student prank, google earth recording it forever…... GOLD
Gettin old Dad???? Check blizz’s post # 953!!!!!
Azz’s has more in the pic. But still a repeat haha.
I am impressed how straight and paralell they got the lines on the middle one
So ya sayin tha Azz is showin more man bits than blizz???? Well I hope so!!!!!
Hahaha, I didn’t even look, did the super scroll straight to the bottom. (and possibly age kicking in 
)
Sorry for re mowing your grass Blizz, but lets face it, I got far my cock up