Classic Simpson’s quotes…
Sorry, I couldn’t help myself…
mmmmm beeeeerr *droolz*
To kick off with my personal favourite:
“Here’s to alcohol. the cause of, and solution to all life’s problems”
Homer: My name is Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me.
Post Office worker: OK Mr Burns, what is your first name?
Homer: I don’t know.
Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal
Homer - It takes 2 people to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Homer - Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.’
Homer - Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
Homer - How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
there are so many. pretty much everything homer says are classic one liners.
Homer: Hey Wiggy, my chili is getting cold.
Homer: Marge? Since I’m not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won’t be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin’ your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you’re ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you’re not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa’s the one you’re not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
HOMER: No beer and no TV make homer something, something
MARGE: Go Crazy?
HOMER: Don’t mind if I do, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh ddd dd dd blah blah…...
Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
Marge: This is the worst thing you’ve ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.
Lisa: Dad, don’t you think you’re overreacting?
Homer: Don’t you think you’re *under*reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: *bad*bye
Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T…
GOLD all the way
tambazz you pull the best quotes
Homer- “I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals, except the weasel.
Ralph: When I grow up I’m going to Bovine University.
Homer: Marge, I’m going to miss you so much. And it’s not just the sex. It’s also the food preparation.
Homer: Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me!
Homer: The internet?? Is that thing still around?
Moe: Moes tavern
Bart: Im lookng for a amanda hugnkiss
Moe: Hey im looking for amanda hugnkiss, oh why cant i find a man to hug and kiss!
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high!!
Professor John Frink: Here is an ordinary square…
Chief Wiggum: Woah woah slow down there egg head
Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.”
Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.
I could go on and on and on and on 