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The nic and golfpunklegend conversation thread

hmmm obviously been misinformed.
you know way more than me and im quite embarrassed because im in year 12…..
quite frankly, i only started worrying about a few weeks ago

 

http://www.futurestudents.unimelb.edu.au/about/melbournemodel.html#breadth
there’s some reading if you want it. Monash is still doing double degrees but Melbourne has basically abolished them.

 

I was gonna see my careers teacher about it (which was what i’ve been saying since the start of the year).
But thanks. that answers almost all my questions about the melbourne model.
I went down to the open day and asked them about it but i didnt want to be rude when i didnt understand a single word they all said

 
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SO my wife reads me what a magazine calls the funniest joke in each country….
The funniest joke in Australia:

A polar bear walks into a bar and says “Give me a Scotch and… Coke.”
“Why the long pause?” Asked the Bartender.
“I dont know,” Says the Bear, “I’ve always had them”.

HUH, that’s not funny.

 
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whats a polar bear got to do with Aus?!

 

Ahahaha kinda of a joke from a kid’s book but made my morning smile

 
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Now that is a random quote.. makes no sense what so ever

 
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He is talking about his PAWS not his PAUSE… but still, it’s just not really funny… and to be the funniest joke in Aus?
the one for US was too long to type in, but it wasnt funny either.

 

Here’s one:
There is an old couple in the church praying when the wife turns to her husband and says: “I just let a silent one go what should I do??” The husband then replies:  “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

 
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Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
Witness: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Lawyer: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.

Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?

Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.

Lawyer: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And what were you doing at that time?

Lawyer: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July fifteenth.
Lawyer: What year?
Witness: Every year.

Lawyer: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
Witness: Yes, sir.
Lawyer: What did she say?
Witness: She said ‘‘What disco am I at?’‘

Lawyer: Mr. Smith, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
Witness: I went to Europe, Sir.
Lawyer: And you took your new wife?

Lawyer: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Lawyer: She had three children, right?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: How many were boys?
Witness: None.
Lawyer: Were there any girls?

Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget things.
Lawyer: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

Lawyer: Can you describe the individual you saw?
Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Lawyer: Was this a male, or a female?

 

Loool at the last one!

 
f@tony - 01 September 2009 11:14 AM

Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget things.
Lawyer: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

Haha, where’d you get these ones from?

 

By the way, Nic, are you finishing the course for your 3/4 yet?

 
golfpunklegend - 02 September 2009 01:25 AM

By the way, Nic, are you finishing the course for your 3/4 yet?

My enviro class is about one week off course finished; and bio class is still ages away.
Personally I’ve been completed and revising for 2 weeks in them both.
How are your subjects going?

 

I’ve finished the maths methods course early and I should start revision soon. All my other subjects are still going and will be loading on the Sacs soon :*(