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What Grinds My Gears

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ozgirl - 23 September 2014 12:50 PM

I think Mizu that if people wanna talk about these things they will. It should be there choice. By asking we are making them have to answer, something…

I had a friend who struggled to conceive for 10 years.

We would talk about it when she wanted not because I asked her. I never asked!

A bit different when you know full well they can’t conceive, but honestly how many people would still ask knowing that situation?????

 
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But its the same thing!

Just don’t ask - its personal!

As the old saying goes “you never know whats going behind closed doors”.

Why is it your business when/if someone is going to have kids?

 
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ozgirl - 23 September 2014 01:03 PM

But its the same thing!

Just don’t ask - its personal!

As the old saying goes “you never know whats going behind closed doors”.

Why is it your business when/if someone is going to have kids?

I said the reason why above!!!!!

Maybe I won’t ask anyone how they’re goin anymore, just incase they’ve contracted Ebola!!!!!

 
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People ask people all the time… do you have a girlfriend, are you married? etc. I think it’s the same to ask someone IF they have kids. I really see no issue with asking a married couple IF they have kids. Likewise, to ask someone IF they have a girlfriend/wife/whatever. I don’t personally ask these things, but I feel they are socially acceptable. It’s just conversation, really.

However, I think it’s another step and socially wrong to ask someone the “when” and “why” questions, unless of course you are good friends and all parties are comfortable with it.

 
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I have no issue with people asking me if me and my partner intend to have children. People tend to ask those things with good intentions and if I don’t want to answer I just don’t. It’s when it gets to “why/why not” questions that it gets invasive imo.

Just saw rider’s post. Exactly what I was thinking!!

 
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rider26 - 23 September 2014 01:14 PM

People ask people all the time… do you have a girlfriend, are you married? etc.

Were they mostly well dressed, good lookin guys?????

 
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beachndogs - 23 September 2014 12:55 PM
Mizu Kuma - 23 September 2014 12:30 PM

Maybe you’re just overreactin to the question?????

After all, pretty much 99.9% of the population have kids, so it’s kinda like someone askin ya what ya had for lunch, or what the weather’s like?????

Pretty sure people don’t set out to offend anyone?????

I call total bullsh!t on that attitude.
fk off you have the right to ask me when i’m having kids just cause most people have them.
sorry miz, but crap logic is crap.
most kids are having sex on the regular so you wouldnt be offended if I asked your daughter about her sex life yeah?

^^^ This!

 

 

 

 
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rider26 - 23 September 2014 01:14 PM

People ask people all the time… do you have a girlfriend, are you married? etc. I think it’s the same to ask someone IF they have kids. I really see no issue with asking a married couple IF they have kids. Likewise, to ask someone IF they have a girlfriend/wife/whatever. I don’t personally ask these things, but I feel they are socially acceptable. It’s just conversation, really.

However, I think it’s another step and socially wrong to ask someone the “when” and “why” questions, unless of course you are good friends and all parties are comfortable with it.

Agree!

 
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Mizu Kuma - 23 September 2014 01:19 PM
rider26 - 23 September 2014 01:14 PM

People ask people all the time… do you have a girlfriend, are you married? etc.

Were they mostly well dressed, good lookin guys?????

Yes, except for Brad. raspberry

 
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What grinds my gears is the is stupid fucking over sensative, “politically correct”, nanny fucking state we live in. Its bloody stupid!
Whats wrong with asking if someone would want to have children? nothing! its called having a conversation! if they dont want to continue to talk about it the person/s will change topic. Fuck. THere is a big difference between being insensitive and probing a topic you know they are affected by and just asking a question.
Just the same as asking what someone does for a living? its a fucking question!

Fuck it. IM gonna try to please everyone and not talk about anything toanyone and hide in a corner of a room and not interact with anyone incase i might offend.

Its just bloody mental.f

Hows the weather anyway? Oh sorry, i better not ask incase you are a meteroligist who doesnt enjoy his/her/heshe/its job

 
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someone broke brad nutjob

 
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beachndogs - 23 September 2014 12:55 PM
Mizu Kuma - 23 September 2014 12:30 PM
TJswish - 23 September 2014 12:11 PM
trentradpants - 23 September 2014 10:46 AM

So why is it that you are ‘winning” any more than me????

I feel like Winning might have been the wrong term. It’s easy to get caught up in the attitude of family, kids etc or the attitude of all about me (and my other half if applicable).

This comment I made was about people making the assumption that you wanted kids. I have nothing against kids and they can be a fantastic addition to people’s lives (see Trent). But it irks me when people ask about it like it’s expected of everyone.

Maybe you’re just overreactin to the question?????

After all, pretty much 99.9% of the population have kids, so it’s kinda like someone askin ya what ya had for lunch, or what the weather’s like?????

Pretty sure people don’t set out to offend anyone?????

I call total bullsh!t on that attitude.
fk off you have the right to ask me when i’m having kids just cause most people have them.
sorry miz, but crap logic is crap.
most kids are having sex on the regular so you wouldnt be offended if I asked your daughter about her sex life yeah?

Yep, crap logic is crap logic!!!!!

Since when is someone’s sex life the same as people havin kids?????

Kids aren’t, and have never been a Taboo Subject since the dawn of time!!!!!

Kids are actually a topic that’s spoken about on so many levels, and by all creeds!!!!!

 
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beachndogs - 23 September 2014 01:33 PM

someone broke brad nutjob

LOL

I think it was this

rider26 - 23 September 2014 01:25 PM
Mizu Kuma - 23 September 2014 01:19 PM
rider26 - 23 September 2014 01:14 PM

People ask people all the time… do you have a girlfriend, are you married? etc.

Were they mostly well dressed, good lookin guys?????

Yes, except for Brad. raspberry

 
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Yep!! Agreed with bnd.

I’ve been with mr.h0z 10 years.. And apart from mum and I joking about when we will get engaged…  And saying she wants grand kids… (this is my own mum so its acceptable. And she jokes about it doesn’t push it on me)

Mr.h0z and I are 100% having kids.  just not yet…  We have both agreed we want to travel as just a couple and get a bit more financial first (depost on a house etc) before we plan on having kids.

And don’t need people coming up to me asking about personal stuff.  my family has had a history of birth problems and for me. If I’m not in the right mood or if its not asked right it pisses me off/up sets me..  (fyi I would have had an older brother and a sister between my sister and I…) and I was 6 weeks early and mum was told dont have any hopes of me surviving.. - but I did!  so for alot of people It can be a sensitive subject… I respect that and don’t talk about it unless its brough up by the person concerned… 

Or like my aunt and uncles.. ( 1 aunt. 3 uncles..) none have kids.. By choice..  - I dont have any cousins.. Only 2nd cousins.. And id never ask them why they didn’t have kids.. (being family I know it was their choice but I don’t need a reason or to hassle them about it..). And that’s how it should be!  sure ask of people want to have kids.. (maybe even how many they would like) but dont hassle them on when etc..

 
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beachndogs - 23 September 2014 01:33 PM

someone broke brad nutjob

Sounds like he’s workin okay to me!!!!!  smirk