What Grinds My Gears
Girlfriend of mine simply uses the ‘family’ name at school and her maiden/professional name on everything else.
You could try that…
When we got married my wife changed her surname immediately on Facebook (the most important place), and some other places, but we are yet to change it legally.
The main reason for that quite honestly is just pure laziness. Once we got the wedding out of the way neither of us could be bothered dealing with anything else. It’s been on our “to do” list for almost 2 years now.
The other reason for it was that my wife had only just started a new job when we got married, so she didn’t want to confuse everyone with a name change shortly after starting. That wouldn’t come into it now though.
Anyway, I say do what makes you happy. If you’re cool with it, and your fiance is cool with it, then who cares what everyone else thinks?
Anyway, I say do what makes you happy. If you’re cool with it, and your fiance is cool with it, then who cares what everyone else thinks?
This is the best attitude. The next part is the constant nagging of people as to when you’re going to have kids. Like it’s socially unacceptable to be married and not be popping out offspring. If I every get married and people pull that one, they’ll be coping a good earful from me. That included even if we were trying…
yep I hear you on that one, TJ!
I think its super rude to even ask or talk about it and I feel a bit disturbed when you talk to people and they tell you their plan for having kids, like it is super easy to just plan to pop one out whenever you feel like.
Miscarriages, infertility etc happen to way more people than you ever think about and the whole thing can be a very traumatic experience for people.
Its not like I think it should be a taboo subject but I think people are far too casual about asking these things to people they don’t know very well.
An older (45ish) childless couple we know said to us once that whenever people ask why they don’t have kids, the lady just answers ‘I don’t have a womb’...and that shuts people up pretty quickly!
Haha nice one. Well my partner and I known each other for over 10 years been together for pretty much all of it, and people are asking about marriage and kids.
My response has always been, “Okay.. but why have kids? Right now I’m spending money on myself and my grrl and we both love it, we’re able to do and get what we want when we want it, when everyone else seem to have difficulty with their kid(s)...”
There has never been a solid proper logical answer and the conversation dies out pretty quickly.
Usually when someone arks up to that response, we’d just look at each other and say, “Well you can have your kids, I understand it’s the best thing ever in your life, we choose WINNING.” *hi-fives*
When I get dirty looks from those people, that when you know that they think you’re right, and when that happens I start getting smug so I can rub it in.By smug I mean like, James Spader smug. It starts to grind their gears, but only because somewhere deep down inside, they accept that you’re right.
Have another mate who’s married, but not planning to have kids, and they pretty much do the same thing we do when “confronted” (I won’t say ask, coz that’s a different type of convo.)
Also, do you know what else grinds my gear?
Your friend that’s the casual noob snowboarder with a lack of respect or understanding for how difficult it is to to pick up this skill well, and won’t listen to instruction/gives excuses when you’re helping them out, but won’t pay up for lessons and keep asking you to help with their technique.
Just sayin’.
A dodgy clutch!!!!!
Really grinds my gears!!!!!
My response has always been, “Okay.. but why have kids? Right now I’m spending money on myself and my grrl and we both love it, we’re able to do and get what we want when we want it, when everyone else seem to have difficulty with their kid(s)...”
There has never been a solid proper logical answer and the conversation dies out pretty quickly.
Usually when someone arks up to that response, we’d just look at each other and say, “Well you can have your kids, I understand it’s the best thing ever in your life, we choose WINNING.” *hi-fives*
Attitudes like this grind my gears. Until you’ve been there and had one, your response is just as bad as the people asking you.
Until the start of this year I was kind of in the same boat, living the dream blah blah blah, Now that P-dizzle has arrived I wouldnt have it any other way. It hasnt stopped us travelling, I’ve been to the snow only 4 days less that last year (15 days this year) and when i look at that little dude, my heart just melts.
So why is it that you are ‘winning” any more than me????
Oh and dodgy clutches, dont get me started. Spent a whole day yelling at my mini’s gear box the other weekend, turns out it was an easy, trents a bit derrrr, kind of fix!!!
Just drive the Wrangler over the top of the Mini. problem solved 
Oh and dodgy clutches, dont get me started. Spent a whole day yelling at my mini’s gear box the other weekend, turns out it was an easy, trents a bit derrrr, kind of fix!!!
So why is it that you are ‘winning” any more than me????
I feel like Winning might have been the wrong term. It’s easy to get caught up in the attitude of family, kids etc or the attitude of all about me (and my other half if applicable).
This comment I made was about people making the assumption that you wanted kids. I have nothing against kids and they can be a fantastic addition to people’s lives (see Trent). But it irks me when people ask about it like it’s expected of everyone.
So why is it that you are ‘winning” any more than me????
I feel like Winning might have been the wrong term. It’s easy to get caught up in the attitude of family, kids etc or the attitude of all about me (and my other half if applicable).
This comment I made was about people making the assumption that you wanted kids. I have nothing against kids and they can be a fantastic addition to people’s lives (see Trent). But it irks me when people ask about it like it’s expected of everyone.
Maybe you’re just overreactin to the question?????
After all, pretty much 99.9% of the population have kids, so it’s kinda like someone askin ya what ya had for lunch, or what the weather’s like?????
Pretty sure people don’t set out to offend anyone?????
Yeah, a good portion of the population does have kids. It irks me because of the reasons out of people control (miscarriages, fertility problems) and I think it’s a risky question to ask. It also puts un-necessary pressure on people who might not want kids (See Grunge’s current situation).
I feel that marriage is an eternal commitment to a person, not a reason to have kids.
Yeah, a good portion of the population does have kids. It irks me because of the reasons out of people control (miscarriages, fertility problems) and I think it’s a risky question to ask. It also puts un-necessary pressure on people who might not want kids (See Grunge’s current situation).
I feel that marriage is an eternal commitment to a person, not a reason to have kids.
Grinds my gears that people are sayin that the best way to sort out ya angst is to talk about things and not to bottle emotions up!!!!!
Then when people talk about things, they complain about people’s insensitivities?????
Confuses the fuck outta me, all this new age philosophy!!!!!
I think Mizu that if people wanna talk about these things they will. It should be there choice. By asking we are making them have to answer, something…
I had a friend who struggled to conceive for 10 years.
We would talk about it when she wanted not because I asked her. I never asked!
So why is it that you are ‘winning” any more than me????
I feel like Winning might have been the wrong term. It’s easy to get caught up in the attitude of family, kids etc or the attitude of all about me (and my other half if applicable).
This comment I made was about people making the assumption that you wanted kids. I have nothing against kids and they can be a fantastic addition to people’s lives (see Trent). But it irks me when people ask about it like it’s expected of everyone.
Maybe you’re just overreactin to the question?????
After all, pretty much 99.9% of the population have kids, so it’s kinda like someone askin ya what ya had for lunch, or what the weather’s like?????
Pretty sure people don’t set out to offend anyone?????
I call total bullsh!t on that attitude.
fk off you have the right to ask me when i’m having kids just cause most people have them.
sorry miz, but crap logic is crap.
most kids are having sex on the regular so you wouldnt be offended if I asked your daughter about her sex life yeah?