weekend at TCMF & SWAG
Why the f*#k am i telling you guys this 
i was out at Tamworth country music festival getting blind drunk and dancing like an idiot last weekend with a few mates and we decided it would be a good idea to try and pick up with the cheesiest pickup lines we could think of (or google…), mine was
“have you got a bandaid?”
“No, why?”
“Because i scraped my knee when i fell for you” 
needless to say success rate wasnt great on anyones part, but when your asking almost every chick you see (and youve got an akubra on 
) it made for a couple of fun nights out on the town, too bad (or maybe good) every time i tried to find my campsite i ended up further away than where i came from
now to the swag part
i used the pickup line on this one chick that was competing for the tamworth country queen or something, she laughed, we started chatting, sat down at the table with my mates (one of which is a red head), and soon after she told us she had a boyfriend and i said
“he mustn’t be a very good one, he’s not here”
“yea he’s here, ive got SWAG!”\
“what?’
“sex with a ginger!!” pointing at the lead guitar/vocalist on stage
my ranger friend went absolutely nuts with excitement at this time, he then professed his love firstly to her, then to her boyfriend while he was playing on stage 
so what does SWAG stand for? i dont want to know what it actually stands for, just what creative bullsh*t you guys can come up with..?
Scientific Wild Ass Guess.
“Secretly. We. Are. Gay.”
She was actually a he and was trying to hide it…
So did you have any success mate?
You should have used the old faithful
G.U.E
So did you have any success mate?
You should have used the old faithful
G.U.E
GUE? Global underwater explores? haha
just d floor anticts, kooked it hard with a hot guitarist, who i was actually getting somewhere with (to my shocking surprise) after “you must be tired, youve been running through my mind all night” dick head i am!!
Short for swagger I would think?
swag·ger
Verb
Walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way: “he swaggered along the corridor”.
Noun
A very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive gait or manner.
Adjective
Denoting a coat or jacket cut with a loose flare from the shoulders.
Synonyms
verb. strut - brag - prance - peacock - boast - swank - vaunt
noun. strut - swank
adjective. swell - stylish - chic - spruce
GUE.
Go Ugly Early.
She had Strange White Anal Goiters?????
No wonder her boyfriend sent her away!!!!!
Short for swagger I would think?
swag·ger
Verb
Walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way: “he swaggered along the corridor”.Noun
A very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive gait or manner.Adjective
Denoting a coat or jacket cut with a loose flare from the shoulders.Synonyms
verb. strut - brag - prance - peacock - boast - swank - vaunt
noun. strut - swank
adjective. swell - stylish - chic - spruce
can someone please turn dictionary dave off?
GUE.
Go Ugly Early.
hahaha ill kept that in mind, at the back…
She had Strange White Anal Goiters?????
can you post a picture of yours, you know, so the rest of us know what they look like
She had Strange White Anal Goiters?????
can you post a picture of yours, you know, so the rest of us know what they look like
I have STAG, mine are Turquoise!!!!!
She had Strange White Anal Goiters?????
can you post a picture of yours, you know, so the rest of us know what they look like
I have STAG, mine are Turquoise!!!!!
i feel sick now…
Dont you know it