Dad Jokes
Fast Eddie rings up Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens’.
TJswish: Can you try again and tell me what happens?
Eddie: ‘Tried but nothing”
TJswish: “What key did you hit?
After a moment and some chinkling sound the Eddie replied: Well, first I tried my car key and just now my house key.
TJswish: Try the car key again for me!!!!!
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
Fatima and Warren Chapstick are adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions Chapstick finds an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie suddenly appears. This genie tells them that he only grants one wish.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Chapstick blurts out, “Turn the entire ocean into VB!”
The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turns into beer.
The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the Chapstick and Fatima considered their circumstances.
Fatima turns to Chapstick and says, “Nice going mate! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”
can totally see it happening exactly that way!!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn’t been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he’s sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy’s faces when they walked into that village and… oh Jesus. He shouldn’t think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex’s slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn’s cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now… he knows that. It’s—it’s just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him… it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he’s back there… In the jungle… In the darkness.
Plus Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.
I thought it was because 7 ate 9?????
I thought it was because 7 ate 9?????
That’s true.. but they were dating 
Q: How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: To get to the other side!!
I thought it was because 7 ate 9?????
That’s true.. but they were dating
That was a rumor started by 69!!!!!
Jez decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start.
A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.
“But I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said the Jez.
“I think I am planting them too deep.”
Hahahaha
What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr Dre.