Christmas Countdown

8

Ho Ho Ho
Santa  

NSFW or those who have sensitive ears!

7

Hey, can you guys keep an eye out for an Elf!! I seem to have misplaced one

Need all hands on deck at this time of year

Ho Ho Ho
Santa  

photo - instagram: @livetoshred

Watched a good Christmas movie last night!!!!!

Red Sleigh Down!!!!!

Here’s a screen shot from it!!!!!

^^^

6

This day, long ago, I was getting ready for the annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of the elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so I was beginning to get cranky because we were behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told me that her mother was coming to visit. I was not the fat jolly dude anymore

When I went to harness the reindeer, three of them were about to give birth and two had pissed off over the fence and were out, probably shagging some stag. More stress.

As I was loading the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. I needed a drink so I went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When I opened the cupboard, the bloody elves had drunk all my grog, and there was nothing to drink.

Just then the doorbell rang, when I opened the door there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Ho Ho Ho
Santa  

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I’m scared of Santa!

Doctor: Sounds like you’re suffering from Claus-trophobia..

Sleazy Santa encounters:

16/12/12 at Luna Park UBS family christmas party.

Santa came up to my brother who has his eyebrow pierced.

Santa: Hey, Santa has some piercings too…

Mum: Oh I don’t know if we should ask.

Santa: You’re welcome to.

Mum: What do you have? (God mum, why encourage him??)

Santa: Santa’s got the big one!

December 2011, Myer, Penrith.

Santa leaves his seat and comes over to my sister and puts his arm around her.

Santa: Santa’s been a naughty boy this year…

Mum walks over, as soon as Santa sees her:

Santa: HO HO Ho! Have you been good kiddies this year??

Mum walks away.

Santa to my sister: You’re a naughty girl aren’t you?? Santa likes naughty girls.

CREEEEEPY!!

@Mizu - 

So Christmas brings back good memories for ya then, Ash????? 

HAHAHAHAHA! no….