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what is you best lie???????

 
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Umm i think size 7 girls… i think…
V-whats your favorite drink?-V

 
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whatever I pull of the draw first grin

with dunny paper, are you a folder or a scruncher?

 

Scruncher ! Seriously who has the time and patience to fold ?

What was your best ” foot in mouth ” moment ?

 
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I’m not sure if this would classify as “foot in mouth”, but I think it’s close, and it makes me laugh, so I’ll tell it anyway.  tongue wink

A bloke at work who is in his 50’s became a grandfather a few months ago. We were paying him out about now being a grandfather, and I told him that now that he was a grandfather, that obviously makes his wife a grandmother, which meant that now makes HIM a “granny banger”.

So we had a laugh about it, and the next time he left his desk, I stole a business card from the front of his holder and I whited out his job title under his name and replaced it with “Granny Banger”, and placed it back at the front of his card holder.

About a day later, this old lady came to our trade counter and he got up to serve her. She was one of those oldies that asks about a thousand questions about nothing, and generally just wastes your time. In the end he gave her a bit of info about whatever she was enquiring about, and she asked him for a business card. So he comes walking in, and grabs the card at the front, walks back out and hands it to this old lady.

Because it was a day later, I didn’t even think about the card and the “Granny Banger” title until she was walking out the door. I’m freaking out, and I grab one of his other cards and run out there to stop her. I was just going to tell her he gave her the wrong card and hope she didn’t look at it, but she was gone.

I told my mate what’s happened and now he’s freaking out too. Once I saw him freaking out I start thinking it’s pretty damn funny. I told him she might might be an old widow, and come back in with a bunch of flowers for him or something. Who knows?

Sure enough, about half an hour later, this lady comes walking back in the the trade area, and I see her standing there, and I can tell she’s pi**ed. I look into the office and this guy has seen her and he has his head in his hands.

So I decided I’d take the fall and see what she wanted. She’s asking to see this other guy, and I tell her he’s out of the office, (she can’t see him where he sits). I was about to explain what has happened with the business card etc, but she just starts telling me how she’s worked out what she wanted, and asked if I could help her. So I get her what she wants, and she pays, and leaves, and she leaves the card on the counter.

When I pick it up I notice the “granny banger” has been scribbled out. The other blokes swears blind he never saw it, hence never scrubbed it out. And nobody else would have seen it. I can only assume this old lady has seen it and scribbled it out. Who knows?

Anyway, it’s not quite “foot in mouth” but close enough. And I figured it was a good one to share….  LOL

OH! Another question….

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten?

 
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red family guy undies (which are falling apart)

what else are you doing right now?? (watching tv, listening to music,)

 
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Watching iron chef!!! Love the dubbing!!

V what are you doing for the rest of the weekend?

 
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1 for a regular or 2 for a large

who was the best Bond? Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnon, Craig?

 
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Brosnan *drool*

v do you have any pets?

 
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1 inch…...from the ground - just like my appendage wink

do you have herpes?

 
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diphallasparatus grin

well done, medium well, medium, medium rare, rare, blue?

 
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Medium.

Who’s your ultimate celebrity crush?

 
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Shave a devon in to the back of there head and piss into there eye’s after eating a full can of asparagus the night before…....

After you past away what would you come back as??????

 
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My dog

Whats your porno name?

 
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Rocky Kippax.

What’s your biggest vice?